Awareness into Action - Part 1
Over the last few years, I have longed for change in myself. Having spent a decade in self-discovery mode, I began feeling a shift from knowing that I needed to move slowly, gently and with self-compassion for myself to a sort of discomfort. The process of self-discovery is nuanced and non-linear. Trusting that the introspective work will offer freedom and a new way of being in the world requires faith. It can feel enlightening when you get those 'aha' moments, but the reality is that they don't come frequently and will only come if you pay close attention. This discomfort I was feeling came from having a more profound sense of who I am, how my character and behaviours were formed, and a rational understanding of why I think, do and behave the way I do. But what was missing was the tools and techniques to take that awareness and move towards change. The teachings were always there; I wasn't ready to pick them up. We cannot force ourselves to move into action and change; we can remain open, begin to learn and take in wisdom from that realm and wait for the voice inside that says, 'I'm ready. Let's go'. For some, staying in awareness may be enough. Awareness is terrific; in itself, it is freeing. Awareness mixed with acceptance is another level of liberating, but awareness combined with acceptance and action is where transformation can occur. I could fill a book with this topic, so please go deeper in your research on the elements of this essay that you're drawn to because I will scratch the surface with my words.
The fourteen stages of Awareness to Action.
ONE – The Catalyst
There is usually a catalyst that propels us into the realm of self-discovery and development. Common catalysts are grief, burn-out, relationship troubles, existential crisis, depression, anxiety, hormonal challenges, parenthood and career dissatisfaction. We usually enter through a challenge.
TWO – The Desire to Understand
When faced with challenges, we can find ourselves spiralling through different emotions; in this process, those drawn to self-discovery are looking to understand themselves within this challenge.
THREE – The Teachers
This desire for understanding can lead us to seek multiple modes of self-discovery.
Therapy
Yoga
12 step groups
Coaching
Reading
Support Groups
Counselling
Meditation
Breathwork
Somatic work
Trauma therapy
Hypnosis
Astrology
Acupuncture
Helio Therapy
Biophilia
Cold Water Swimming
Knitting
Philosophical teachings
Religion
Spirituality
FOUR – The Rational Understanding
We may try a combination of the above or just one or two; from there, we may form a rational understanding of ourselves and the situation. For example: I grew up in chaotic conditions. Therefore, I feel uncomfortable when things go smoothly and I self-sabotage.
FIVE – The Witnessing
From this rational standpoint, we become observers. We can notice ourselves sliding into ways of being that are familiar or reacting in ways which are natural for us. With rational understanding, a consciousness that wasn't there before takes form around the behaviours.
SIX – The Frustration
This newly formed consciousness can throw everything we know up in the air. We might question friendships, career paths, relationships and doubt ourselves. It is very natural to get frustrated when we have a rational understanding and a conscious awareness of our actions and behaviours but can't seem to pause the ones we aren't fond of and wish transform.
SEVEN – The Acceptance
Here we have a choice, we can use this conscious awareness and rational understanding to find new ways to be disappointed in ourselves and to treat ourselves poorly, or we can move into accepting exactly where we are in this process. In our fast-paced world, we can feel that we should be able to change overnight, but this isn't the truth for the majority. Remember, we see the highlight reel of people's lives rather than BTS. The speed at which change can occur will differ for everyone as our situations are unique. Changing that neural pathway will take time, discipline and effort if you have been thinking a certain way for thirty, forty or fifty years due to certain features in your formative years.
EIGHT – The Forgiveness
This is a challenging step to explain in one essay, but essentially we must forgive ourselves for any harm we may have caused others because shame is a heavy emotion to carry. Forgiveness isn't simply letting yourself off the hook, as you want to and are working toward change. Forgiving ourselves is integral. Then we must also forgive others, as spending our lives in blaming and victim mode is a disempowered way to move through life. Know your story but lose your attachment to it. Forgiving others will look different depending on the situation; go lightly, take your time and notice your motivation. See this essay on letting go for more detail.
NINE – The Integration
Learning how to rebalance your life into alignment with all you've learnt can be a long process and requires patience. Just because you have experienced a paradigm shift doesn't mean that others in your world have. Understanding how to be true to yourself in your set-up will take excellent communication and a deep understanding of boundaries and how to negotiate them intelligently.
TEN – The Subconscious Mind
Underneath it all, your subconscious mind will change over the years of self-discovery to support you. Obviously, you won't actively notice this but trust that if you're taking positive steps, the subconscious will meet your efforts. Finding your version of meditation will help this along.
ELEVEN – The Continuam
Once aware, you can't not be aware. You will find you are more conscious of every part of your life. You may make better choices and find that life begins to flow more easily and abundantly. However, if you have realised that you wish to change certain aspects of yourself through your self-discovery process, this can be a sticky spot.
TWELVE – The Final Straw
From reading this short essay or being better prepared, you might not need to make it this far and may have proactively begun to move into action and change. Still, for many, it takes us doing things the same way over and over again until we finally realise that we have to change, that unless we do, we will continue to feel the same way and limit ourselves. This phase can be painful; as Brene Brown says, 'the final battle is always the bloodiest'.
THIRTEEN – The Decision
If you've spent time with self-discovery, then the decision to change is all you need. People often ask if they can skip self-discovery and begin with self-mastery, and the answer is a surprising YES. However, if you carry the past on your shoulders, self-mastery will be harder to grasp. On the other hand, with the introspective work forming the base, your self-mastery will be impactful and life-changing.
FOURTEEN – Enjoy The Ride
Self-discovery and self-mastery are not things we can achieve or states we can reach. However, they can instead play a beautiful and intrinsic role in the tapestry of your life.
In the next part of this essay, I will share and discuss teachings that take us over the threshold into action.
Are you going through or looking for change in your life? Transformative coaching with me provides a dedicated space for self-exploration and reflection for finding clarity and accountability. If you proceed with 1-1 coaching, you receive complimentary access to my group coaching program SEASON.
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