1. Journal or share with a trusted friend your feelings and emotions towards the situation and how you hope the conversation will go. If you notice that your feelings are particularly raw, sit with this for a little longer and let the raw emotions settle into acceptance and solution-finding.

2. Find something kind to say to the person you feel has hurt you or caused discomfort. It is hard, but if it is a solution we are looking for, finding something kind to start the conversation with will go a long way. Try to get to what's underneath the issues, what's true about this situation when you're not consumed with negative thoughts.

3. If it feels comfortable, it would be helpful to share this guide with the other party if they might be open to it; only you can judge that.

4. Start the conversation in person is best, but it can also be over the phone or, if necessary, by email/message. Lead with your kind statement to set the tone.

5. Be prepared to listen; if you hear triggering statements, try to come back to your breath rather than react. There is healing in the pause. There is no more productive and efficient activity in a difficult conversation than listening. Just as you need to be heard, your counterpart needs to be heard too.

6. Focus on your feelings and experience rather than pointing out how the other has made mistakes.

7. If there is a boundary to implement, define it, don't over-explain. Make sure you are clear, and if there are consequences, outline them. Again, writing a basic script for this before the conversation will help.

8. Remember that you cannot control someone else's reaction. If the response isn't what you hoped for, remember that you have fulfilled your purpose, reflected before speaking and that the reaction of the other is not your responsibility.

9. Close the conversation with kindness. This will look different depending on the topic and experience, but if you can express gratitude for the willingness to discuss and wish the other person well.